Feeling uncomfortable in your birthday suit, you throw on a t shirt, some jeans, and your brown jacket with a fuzzy hood. As you pull your arm through the jacket sleeve, your door kind of explodes, slightly startling you. Don't worry, it was only slightly startling, and you didn't just poop a little or anything.
In the doorway stands a cheeseburger. Not just any cheeseburger, though; this is the burger you made earlier this morning, the immaculate chosen one. It's not even half a foot tall, but you feel power emanating from those sesame seeds.
"Default Everyman, my father." Holy crap it talks.
"I have come here to thank you for giving me life, but also warn you of impending doom. The burger overlords are planning to destroy the world because of our injust consumption, and while I have determined in my heart that you humans are worthy to survive, they disagree. I pleaded before them, but they sent me to a day spa that actually lasted a week. You know, day spa, D-A-I-Y-E. Day.
As it turns out, they brainwashed me to kill any human I come across whenever I hear easy-listening music, just like the kind they always play at restaurants. I have come here to warn you that invasion is imminent, and burgers will not rest until the human race has been wiped out."
>> "But why kill humans?"