Dismissing the foul and primitive thought, you drain the main vein into the toilet bowl. It goes on and on and on and on—don't stop, believing!
...
Umm...Sorry about that. I guess I'm in a singing kind of mood today. To be more accurately descriptive, your urine flows for an unnatural amount of time. After a while with no fluctuation in flow, you begin to count the seconds. On top of the already long period of time, you count off an additional 24 seconds.
Relieved, you flush the toilet, wash your hands, and go to fix yourself some dinner.
You aren't exactly sure how or when, but somehow you fell asleep on the couch and now it's 4:30 in the afternoon. You slept all day! You hurry to your phone, and a hot dog slides off your chest onto the carpeted floor. You quickly pick it up and throw it down the hatch. 10 second rule, right?
When you check your phone, a text from Heather says:
Meet me outside at 6:00 ;)
Winky face means flirty, right?
Wait, it's 4:30! Only an hour and a half until your date! You look over at Clarence, who's eyeing you from the counter. Better not forget him so Heather's fish isn't lonely.
There's that smell again. Dangit, you forgot to take a shower last night. You rush to the bathroom, but nature calls. After desecrating your porcelain throne, you check your phone for the time. 5:45!
Can you take a shower in fifteen minutes when it usually takes you 30? Or should you just overapply deodorant and hope she doesn't notice? The clock's ticking, and you can't risk being late. What if she realizes how much of a loser you are and leaves without you?
>> Get dressed?